when you thought you had more ketchup

Warning: this poem has crude humor.

-realizing you’re out of ketchup when you thought you had more

trying to write a poem
when nothing comes to
mind reminds me
when you’re looking
forward to eating
ketchup like on your fries
only to find
that the ketchup
is low in the bottle
like low tide
when you wanted
high tide
when you were up
at five a.m. fishing with your uncles
so you slam
the bottle down
hard on a hard
surface
hoping to force
whatever is left
to fill in the spout
but you open the cap
and squeeze and
all you end up with
is a ketchup
diarrhea fart
spraying it everywhere
on your clothes
plate and counter
and that is when
you think you should
have just quit
and eaten it
without

the little i worked on yesterday 5-20-20 wednesday



-how do i sleep

whenever i stay overnight
at a relative’s house
the next morning
they always ask
how did you sleep last night

on my right side
with my right hand wedged
under my right eye
like a golfer’s number five
lifting my eye from
sinking into the sand
of four pillows
protecting me from
my own stomach acid (<—- i think i might end it here)

(potentially more length by adding this)

feeling bony thin
adjusting the missing
body fat of one-hundred five pounds
that padded my knees from rubbing
tossing me back and forth

my poetry writing process



-playground equipment of the mid 1970’s


i’m not sure why the
merry-go-round was so fun
perhaps it was the closest
thing to getting drunk
when we were still to young

then there was the seesaw
when you were high in the sky
looking down on your friend below
he thought it was fun
when he hopped off and
let you go

the metal slide with the
only caution sign:
beware surface may be hot
ignored by the thrill of sliding down
made me feel i won the jackpot

monkey bars i avoided
i was overweight never could stay on
made me feel like
a complete and utter moron

the swings is where i soared
to escape everything below
waiting for the apex
before my backward flow

the scariest of all spread out
like a giant robotic spider
was the jungle gym
who i admired
anyone brave enough
to climb to the top
and sometimes after school
when no one was around
i would climb the first rung
and then back down

it wasn’t worth being a hurt hero

what i wrote today thursday 5-14-20

so i don’t get out much
i just discovered Billy Collins
he is now my favorite poet
i want to read all of his works
i love his common everyday
rich imagery
i hope i can learn from him
***
write about a cockroach
that is barely alive
just enough
to barely crawl
from the water cooler
to the living room floor
and that’s when
i ended
his travels
and then didn’t
want to pick him up
so i took my fly swatter and
szhooshed him
under the dresser
i didn’t want to pick him
up and feel his crushed
brittle body
***


Where would I’d rather be?

living in a tiny house
simply: one big T.V.
siting in a heated swivel recliner
besides my wife
in the evening

OR

swiveling in a heated recliner
besides my wife
watching our big screen T.V.
with nothing much else

book cases containing eighty percent less
books that we never have read


I wake up early
and yet there are lots of other
people who wake up
a lot earlier than i do

and i’m tired
and throughout the day
my tiredness becomes exhausted
until the afternoon
where i’m hung over
due to lack of sleep
like a giraffes neck
hanging low drinking

lacking all grace of a
girrafe’s neck hung low
curved as a arrow set on a bow


i’m reading a poem
about sking down
drawing random
lines in snow

and i got to think
it reminds me of a
Brice Marden
abstract line painting

if i would ever need
to describe skiing
down a snow banked hill
like an abstract Marden
stick painting


there is something
about drinking water
from my double-walled
vacuumed sealed bottle
with my lips
hanging on the
clean stainless steel rim
instead of sucking it out of the
thick straw plastic spout

the words i typed today monday 5-11-2020

The lost typewriter is found
on our way home from picking up our groceries and food for lunch on saturday 5-9-20

we were on our road when my wife happened
to look over at an abandoned house
and saw a huge box sitting
by the door in their entrance
she thought for sure what was my typewriter
we went home because i was nervous
about just driving on someone else’s property
and snooping around so
i had to call the police to make sure it
was ok
and when the officer called back
she was almost dumbfounded
and said well if there is no one
living there go ahead and look at it
and i was like but i wanted to make sure
this was ok and she was like
“duh” without saying the word duh
then we drove back and
checked and it had my name and the senders
we took it and i let it sit in my room
until monday to open it up
now come today, monday
i open it up
what a mess!
it’s the worst best packing
i’ve ever seen
loose foam peanuts
locked together
with spray foam
that sticks to the saran wrap
on the outside of the typewriter
as well as the cardboard
of the box
everything has glued itself
together and i’m
not sure how to get
everything undone
then in the mean time
when i thought all was
lost and i’d never see
my typewriter again
before i found it
i bid on another typewriter
and won that
so we will see what is the best
typewriter when the other
comes in.
i need to be better with
my money and save it
instead of buying typewriters.
so i’m done
between the two
i should have a nice
collection for now
until i can add
an Olympia SM3
and a Hermes Baby/Rocket
and perhaps a
Hermes 2000
then we’ll call it a day

by the way the typewriter
was dropped off at
3828
my address is
3838
i’m convinced the fedex
driver thought there
was a mistake made
and corrected it himself
this is a good lesson
in not overthinking and
assuming a mistake
was made
he never drove
to our house
it wouldn’t have
mattered as we
just put in a new
mailbox and it
didn’t have numbers
now it has our numbers
and our last name

just took my
vitamins
and coffee and
chocolate
from 1007-1025 hrs

i can hardly wait for lunch
because i get our (my wife’s and I)
mexican lunch leftovers
from mothers day
although what i really
want is my hotdog
with chili on it
that is what i want.

after wrangling my Royal
typewriter out of it’s
coffin of packing:



what i typed saturday

on 5-9-2020

Today is my wife’s and I
wedding anniversary
She is the love of my life
I can’t believe she loves me and
married me years ago
It’s been 15 years of
wonder!


i bought a royal typewriter
off of ebay
it was supposed to be delivered
friday may 8, 2020
the tracking number
said it was
but when i opened my front door
there was nothing there
i finally got through to fedex
saturday morning 5/9/20
and now it’s in their system
the driver will be contacted
and hopefully i’ll get the machine
at some point.
in the meantime i found
a typewriter i really want.

it’s hard to write
something worthwhile reading
when all your focus
is on trying to find out
what happened to my
typewriter and where it went
and will i get my money back

or

it’s hard to write
when my mind is
typewriter focused
on where it went
and will i get my money back?

(i like the latter better
trim trim trim the
words always better.)


I can’t get rid of my weird bird story
i’m contemplating that it is more
alien type than extinct
i like this better

maybe this alien bird
maybe isn’t alien
maybe it’s a machine
that is spying on people

or maybe
it’s 100% pure alien
no i’m not sure i like that either
because it needs to be made
in a lab

so it needs to be some
type of animal
maybe a hint of weird science
i like that

i mean think about it:
scientists create something
that could light up (using lightning bug dna)
maybe they could reconstruct dna
that could make it breath fire

think about a cockroach mixed in with some dinosaur
wouldn’t you end up with a form of a xenomorph.

what i wrote yesterday

(this was written on 5-8-20 Friday, and I forgot to post it, shame on me.)

it’s 0940 hrs and i thought i would better get to writing something.

i know my royal typewriter is coming today but i don’t know what time
so instead of wait all day and miss out on an opportunity of writing
on my new typewriter i better just open another word document and
start typing and be done with it
instead of waiting
for the new old hopefully working typewriter to arrive
and then miss a writing opportunity completely
I love my Hermes 1943 font.
if I can’t have a real hermes typewriter
because they ware quite pricy right now
i figure i can at least use the font
and that will scratch the itch
oh so lightly
not really because it’s to quiet
and not noisy enough

i wanted to do some
free writing today
but even that seems
impossible
i need to read more
but then when i read
i find myself wanting
to write more
and so the forces begin to mesh
with each other and
as long as i do both today
ill come out ok
and be a winner no
matter what.

if you’ll excuse me
back to reading
i’m reading a lot of
kindle samples
i just deleted
permantley
14000 things to be happy about
or something like that
it was ok but
nothing over the top
i think there are
better books to be read.
back at it again

i ordered three
new to me
poetry books
from amazon
right now
@ 1024 hrs.
I can hardly
wait until
they arrive
but i have plenty
to read
in the meantime

I’m tired this morning
stayed up till
0100 hrs
this friday morning
i should have gone
to bed sooner
wrapped up
reading on
my kindle

i get a text
message from
fedex
that my typewriter
has been delivered
it has been
left at the front
door
but when i opened
my door
there was no
typewriter
it had dissapeared
i walked over to the edge
of my property
to check my neighbors
front door
there was no large
box sitting there
i went back inside
my house
i’ve been trying
to call fedex
and i’m waiting
for a long time
to speak to a human
being at fedex
it seems that is
a rare event
indeed
we are so far advanced
in our technology
but we have a hard
time connecting
two humans on the phone
as a machines tries
to match us up
funny how a machine
has to join two
humans together
on a phone
that in the 80’s
was nothing to
even sneeze or
think about
you could pick up
a phone and make
a call to another
human and they
would most likely
answer
very simple
now not so much

i ate my hot dog
with ketchup on it
for lunch
this now
@1246 hrs

i’m waiting on my
dad
to call me
and tell me
he won’t come
over for his
two chess games
with me
he has been backing off
a lot lately
so i don’t think
he wants to play
or learn chess
i should look
into playing
someone on
chess.com
if i want to

but what i really
want to do
is buy a $120
backgammon
tournament
game of
21 huge inches
instead of
anything smaller
for less money

money honey ronny

nothing is coming to me
today because i think
it’s friday
my wife got paid
and i’m in the party
mood
not the writing
poetry mode
but i have got to do what i
need to do regardless
what day it is

i need to read more
but i really want
to write more
like i am now
but write
with more meaning

bat that ate the rat
couldn’t find the mat
to lie down on and rest his weary lat
because we all know how
important it is for a bat
to rest his lat
tat mat kat, kit kat bar

i’ve become
extremely tired

i remember back
when i went bowling
on a league no less
but then they let
everyone get on a
league that wants to be
i rolled two gutter balls
in a row
only me
no one else on any
league
ever rolled a
gutter ball
that is how
much a looser
i am

enough of this free writing
garbage
i will read
now @ 1318 hrs

it’s now 1410 hrs
i will need to
read more
out of my real
paper books
and save
the kindle
words for
tonight when
i’m in bed
and my wife
is sound asleep
for it is daylight
now
and that means
reading words
light reflecting
off of ‘dead-trees’
paper

my dad just called
and he said
he is running late
he won’t make it
at 2:30 pm
but 2:45 pm
i was shocked
he is actually
coming to
play chess
with me?

i need to write poem about

  • storms rain snow blizzards
  • maybe the 3′ blizzard from westcliffe colorado
  • lack of sleep
  • lack of exercise
  • jumping rope
  • four square in pasadena california in 6th grade.

all of sudden these don’t even look that interesting
i better just concentrate and
get set up for the chess game
much better than trying to
make these crappy words work.

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